Just Fine
by Hofftailing
Summary: After all this time, Hikari remembers and cannot forgive.


Disclaimer: I do not own Strawberry Panic. If I did, then there would be more scenes of Amane with cleavage...I didn't just say that. Um.

So anyways, this story is very, very different from all the rest. I just had a bad day at work, and had to write something. The ending is left up to the reader, but we all go a little crazy sometimes.

* * *

Even after all this time, it hurt. Even after the Etoile elections, and everything that they went through together, it didn't stop hurting. It pinged at the very back of her brain, a thumping heat that just never went away. 

When she first arrived, she ignored them, as they ignored her. In such a big school, a shy and quiet girl like her would never be noticed; being a faceless blur in the crowd was more than fine. She was used to being alone. But soon, the loneliness of isolation began to break its way into her heart, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Despite having the love and support of her friends, she was always lonely. They could never understand. But that was fine.

_Look at the new girl. Blonde, and probably a bitch._

_Hi, welcome to St. Spica, my name is Nanto, Yaya, and I'll be your roommate, so let's be friends._

_Angels? Don't be so childish. They don't exist. No wonder you're always by yourself, you're weird. _

Then she set eyes on the prince: the beloved and famous and unattainable cold prince of St. Spica. While her friends told her to go for it, she dare not. Why reach for something impossible. A shy, nobody like herself was satisfied to look upon the prince from afar. It would never be enough, but that was fine.

_Hikari-sempai! Are you in love with Amane-sama? I hear she never accepts gifts from anybody and always turns people away with a cold stare! _

_Konohana-san, don't waste your time on Amane-sama, she'll never notice a nobody like you! _

The prince had set eyes on the angel. A chance meeting, early in the morning, threw her into an impossible dream. She loved her, and her love was returned. Soon her classmates, who ignored her from the beginning, found out about her crush on the prince. She could see the jealousy in their eyes and hear the cutting remarks under their breaths. Everywhere she went it was the same thing, even girls in the Saintly Chorus would whisper as she passed by. She could ignore them, even though she knew what they were saying. But that was fine.

_Konohana-san, does Amane-sama love you? Are you going to run for Etoile with her?_

_Did you know that you're the envy of many girls from all the schools? _

_What does Amane-sama see in you that makes you so special?_

_Look at her, all high and mighty, just because Amane-sama was nice to her once._

But despite everything, she continued to spend time with the prince, and a dream she didn't even know she was having, began to form and shape into romance.

_Hikari-chan, let's meet here after school. _

_Hikari-chan, thank you so much for that gift, it's very special to me._

_Hikari-chan, can I kiss you?_

And she thought things were going to get better. She was wrong. The St. Spica Student Council actively made things worse day after day. The president would nag at her constantly, asking what her motives were. Then the council members would challenge and test her devotion. But in the end, she and the prince had found their love, and had triumphed over everything and everybody. They had even ascended to the highest, most coveted position of all the schools.

_Congratulations, Hikari-sama, or should I say, Etoile-sama! _

_I'm so proud of you Hikari-chan! I knew you could do it! _

_Way to go, Konohana-san! _

However, as the days went by, the dream faded. She saw her kingdom for what is was, and she remembered. She remembered the people that ignored her, the ones that laughed and ridiculed her dreams, the ones that whispered and pointed and hissed. Instead of simply not noticing her, they ran their mouths with fake adoration.

_Etoile-sama, how are you this morning? Etoile-sama, you're so beautiful today!_

_Etoile-sama, is there anything I can do for you?_

_Etoile-sama, have I told you that I've always admired you? _

But most of all, she remembered the Spica Student Council. They would make her feel undeserving, inadequate and incapable of receiving the prince's love. They would deny her by physically assaulting her. It hurt to be chased, to be thrown to the rocky ground, to be pinned down, to be trapped. She remembered how it hurt so much to be powerless, and to feel pain as you were violated by dirty hands and for no one to help you no matter how much you screamed. The black-haired girl and her friend did it for the sake of love. But their love, like everything they told her was a lie. And that was not fine.

_Hikari-chan, where are you going at this hour? _

_Hikari-sempai, you don't look so well. _

_Etoile-sama, the room is down the hall to your left._

_What the? It's fucking 3 in the morning! What are you doing here? _

_Y-you can't do that! Are you crazy? Don't joke around! Stop it! Stop it! Please! Stop! _

And in the end, things were not right. But that was fine.


End file.
